Why interviewing is like dating

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Published on Thursday, 26 January 2012 06:00

Written by Jobs.ca Staff

What do most people want in a potential mate?  Ask this question to any single person on the dating scene and you will inevitably get the same answers.  Someone attractive, fun to be around, tolerable for the long term and maybe even wealthy.  Coincidentally, many job candidates are looking for similar characteristics in their potential employer.  An attractive position in a fun environment, somewhere they wouldn't mind staying for the long term with high earnings potential.  It's these similarities that make the job market a lot like the dating scene.

Going on a first date is eerily similar to a first interview.  You are trying to present yourself in the best manner possible, while sizing up the position to see if it's even a job you are interested in.  In the dating scene seeming "needy" is a certain turn off for potential mates.  Employers, like prospective mates, don't just want to accept the first applicant that shows an abundance of enthusiasm -- they usually want what they can't have.  This is why it can be an advantage to play hard to get when interviewing for a job.  

This "hard to get" mentality does not mean you should traipse into an interview "fashionably late" with an careless attitude.  Like dating, you want to seem attainable, yet you also want the interviewer to know that you are a quality catch.  An interviewer might mention in closing that "we still have quite a few candidates left to meet with" -- you can also give them the impression that you have "a few upcoming interviews this week".  Let them know that you want to make sure you select the right career for the long term and that you are not just looking for just any job.  The trick to becoming a desired commodity is  to greet the employer with confidence, but not cockiness.  Cockiness will get you thrown out of the room faster than Barry Manilow at a Metallica concert.

Many people in the dating scene follow a steadfast rule of not calling someone until a few days after their initial date.  The same is true with a potential employer, don't call them the day after an interview to "inquire about the job".  Waiting a few days to do your follow up call shows that you are interested in the position, yet you are not begging to be hired.  In dating terms these unwritten rules of behavior might be considered "playing the game".  In the work force these rules are considered common sense steps that the smart job candidates know how to follow.

Increasing an employer's desire to hire you will give you more leverage when it comes to negotiating your salary and benefits.   Your initial  "hard to get" attitude might have a career-long effect on your earnings, your relationship with your boss and your room for growth within the company.  Before for your next interview, take the time to remind yourself how valuable you really are and let this attitude show -- just enough to make them really want to hire you.